Bloggy Tales

Dashing through the house

Trying to make it back

I do not wish to miss a thing

That just might make me laugh.

The girls and I were ripe

With silly, fun filled words

And tales of fright and goofiness

The world has rarely heard

OH! Bloggy tales, Bloggy jokes

Blogging just for fun.

Blogging here and Blogging there

It’s late before we’re done

Hey, bloggy woes, bloggy tips

Blogging site to site

And when we get the crew around

It’s hard to say ‘goodnight’

Gypsy traveling bands

Memories of kids

Decorating, reading books

The crazy stuff dad did

How to make a cake

Quilting can be fun

Why would someone call you that?

Oh, gosh, here comes the sun!

OOOOOHHHHHH

Bloggy tales, Bloggy jokes

Blogging just for fun.

Blogging here and Blogging there

It’s late before we’re done

Hey,

Bloggy woes, bloggy tips

Blogging site to site

And when we get the crew around

It’s hard to say ‘goodnight’

 

Just for Cathy

This was sent to me years ago. Thought you'd love it.

Entry for October 04, 2007

A friend sent me this. Hope it makes you chuckle. Thanks for reminding me Trudy.

Replacement Windows

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had been installed a whole year ago and I had not paid for them yet.
Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sales guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Things My Mother Taught Me

The following is a little thing my sis sent me. Thought you all might get a kick out of it. The picture is another from Labor Day weekend at the lake.

25 Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about. "

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it ."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14 My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15 My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22 My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Mmmm, Good!

I get a kick out of that commercial where the two girls are sitting eating yogurt and talking about burning the dress and loosing the shoes. So what do you equate with 'good'? Here are a few of mine.
'New car -ruin your sinuses for a month- smell' good.
'Lawn mowed, gardens weeded, pool clean, house straight' good.
'Last stroke of paint on the ultimate picture' good.
'Perfect glaze on a perfect pot' good.
'Children laughing, jumping, swimming' good.
'Quiet relaxing morning' good.
'Sleepy morning after a long drive' good.
'Colorado trail pass' good.
'Dancing in your whatever til whenever' good.
'Knowing you got it right' good.
'Watching American Dreamer with your girlfriends' good.
'Cheesecake and Spiced Chai' good.
'Bustin out the neighbor's new big bright security light in the back yard' good!
'Picture of the sky taken with a sweet camera' good!

High Flying Chuckle

A couple of years ago a military friend sent this to me. I've read it and laughed several times. I share it now because I'm too tired and sore to think and want to just sit still and heal. But you guys that read me often may enjoy it as I did. Chuckle, chuckle.
The picture? The waterlily is blooming in my middle pond of the waterfall on my hill

Subject: McDonnell Douglas...
This was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web department take it down immediately (for once, the "IMPORTANT" note at the end is worth a read, too...;)
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Salutation
[_] Mr.
[_] Mrs.
[_] Ms.
[_] Miss
[_] Lt.
[_] Gen.
[_] Comrade
[_] Exalted
[_] Classified
[_] Other
First Name: ........................ Initial: ........ Last Name: ..........................
Password: ........................ (max. 8 char)
Code Name:.................................
Longitude/Latitude/Altitude ...........................
2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
20......./....... /........
4. Serial Number:
....................................
5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalogue / showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Shop-At-Home Network
[_] Classified
[_] eBay
6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Late night cable TV advertising /infomercial
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate all that apply)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / misinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[_] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION Marketing Department Military, Aerospace
Division
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk, and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

4AM Vigil

I am a lover of outdoor activities. My outdoor activities of late have been, gardening and stucco. In past years, we went camping spring break and always on Memorial weekend. This year, and probably last year, Memorial Day was stucco day. My husband built a deck and planted a tree.
Weekend camping is usually accomplished in campgrounds. We haul in a trailer or Suburban full of stuff and set up a large community for two people. Sometimes we go in groups. I've not been camping since last October - we missed Hell week in Kansas last January, but that's a whole different post. I ran across this piece of nonsense while looking for another file and decided to post it.
The hardest thing about camping, tent camping that is, is my 4 o’clock vigil.
A life of ease has trained my body to walk about 15 steps from the bed to the bathroom commode when I waken at 4 AM. At least I do awaken and sometimes I even take a moment to look out on a moonlit yard or take a short walk in the moonlight with my dogs before climbing back into bed to finish off the night, my shivering body quickly giving way to warmth and comfort.
So, what is the problem with the campground vigil, you may ask. I have trained my body to take 15 steps to relief. Seldom is a campground facility closer than a quarter of a mile from my bed. Knowing this brings about an opposite reaction than it should. I lie there in the covers enveloped in dark stillness dreading the act of pulling on my cold clothes and shoes and hiking or driving, in extreme cases, to the closest potty. Sometimes this hesitation results in sleep. It always results in extreme duress.
By the time I give in to the need, my body, the cold, and the distance are not my friends. Carefully I climb from the warm, comfy camp bed and begin searching, in the dark for my head lamp, quietly, so as not to disturb my sleeping husband. This most often results in a hand or knee in his stomach. I recoil pull the headlamp from its clip hanging above the bed. Headlamp in place, I turn it on and shine it in his squinting eyes. “Sorry,” I whisper and begin the quest for my clothes. I’ve learned to set them out before bed, like a school child. I pull on my sweater, every muscle tight, because of my delay. Looking at the cold jeans I must make a decision. In a full campground, it’s a hard decision, but common sense usually wins out in the end. There is no way I’m getting that cold garment on my legs and ending up dry. I slip on my shoes, drape the jeans over my arm and unzip the tent. The cold air hits me like a running river. This will be difficult.
I look at the tree behind the tent. It looks wide enough and I know I wouldn’t harm it, and I am in pain. But I am a lady even in a campground. So I begin picking my way through the tents between my own and the facility. What idiot is sitting in front of a campfire at 4 AM? Actually, now it's closer to 5. Clad in long johns with jeans over my arm, do I smile and acknowledge his presence and stare, or do I just keep my gaze fixed on my destination and pretend he can’t see. I know I’m already walking funny and any route but a bee line is unthinkable. Politely, he turns his gaze away. I hurry on gratefully. “Mornin,” he says as I pass his site. I don’t stop to chat.
Reaching the bathhouse brings a renewed pain to my abdomen. I rush inside to find several women! The showers are steaming, the stalls are full. In a state just short of panic, I notice one empty and rush to relief. I don’t know what sound I make exactly, but it always brings concern on those in their early morning oblations. I assure those questioning that I’m not having a seizure or heart attack.
Finished, I pull on my jeans, wash my hands and face and explain hastily what brought about the alarming noises. Some sympathize; some indulge me with an unknowing smile; some just look at me like I’ve lost my mind. Once a lady kindly recommended Depends! That recommendation introduced many more questions than solutions in my mind.
Back outside the air is cool and crisp. The sky is still black scattered with sparkling stars and a cloud or two waiting for the dance of dawn to begin. Smoke curls up from dying campfires that warmed and entertained campers the night before. A sprinkling of campers are up. Maybe they woke early, maybe they didn’t go to bed. Enlivened, I make my way back to my tent. As I pass my previous encounter, I quietly say “Mornin” thinking maybe he’ll appreciate the fact that I’m dressed.
Back inside my tent, I pull off my outer clothes and once again snuggle into the warm soft bed. Contented, I succumb to the sleep enveloping my mind and body knowing the 4AM vigil is completed for this day.
The picture was taken off the east overlook from Petit Jean Mountain near Morrillton, Ark.